I have taken some time off today to work on my admin as admittedly, its been something I have been pushing aside. Armed with an iced latte, as it was too hot to drink it in its true form, my trusty laptop and an earful of music, I was ready to get to work. There are no distractions here other than the laughing teenagers, the grumpy man on the phone, the elderly gentleman with his newspaper which went over my head the moment I put my earphones on.
Every now and then, a song would come on the playlist, an image, a photo, a trace of a memory or a face would throw me off. Tears would start to fill my eyes, threatening to smear my mascara, ruin my make up and make a fool of me. I would hold it, live that moment, let my thoughts follow that space and live it. The tears would hold back and the emotion would fade. Then something else would jolt me out from my determined stride to get things done. I still push on and on despite the feeling over overwhelming sadness and wanting to wallow in self pity. I am not even sure what I want to be wallowing in on. It feels like the end of something or someone. Who is this, what is this? I keep asking.
I am almost fearful of “knowing”. The last time I felt this way, choked with emotion and almost surfing on a wave, I lost someone dear to me. I know there is a lot of emotions flying about these last two days. The world lost Louise Hay, the motivational author and the founder of Hay House yesterday (Aug 30), which was the anniversary of the passing of Dr Wayne Dyer and today, the world mourns another inspirational figure -Diana, Princess of Wales who passed 20 years ago. However the energy emerging from next week’s Full Moon is strong and creating some chaos within ourselves.
We are being challenge
d to go back, reflect and to learn. The feeling we are having may be related to events that will unfold in the days before or after the full moon, but I can sense within this energy that it is about us. There are feelings and emotions that we need to let go of. Is it a memory, grief for someone we love, unwi
llingness to let go of a negati
ve habit that we have become accustomed to? Is our body resisting the change that is coming?
There is only one thing to do when this happens – GO WITHIN. The answers are never out of our own soul, internal wisdom or intuition. Our compass is going crazy for a good reason. Find some time to sit quietly and ask yourself all the questions above, ask for guidance from within.
If you have been dreaming long, vivid and complex dreams then write them down and analyse the meaning. Align it to your present situation and it will make sense. Be the hermit today and take your time to really understand this feeling. Have a duvet day or just go on a walk. Just be and let the feelings guide you. Meditation today will be a good idea, choose something soothing and gentle like a Buddhist chant. I have added some lovely meditation music on my YouTube Channel