How to Start Loving Yourself and Be Happy in 10 steps

How to Start Loving Yourself and Be Happy in 10 steps

I woke up this morning with a message for all of us. It’s so easy to forget about the most important person in our lives….”me”. Hope this lifts you up today x  #love  #spiritual #allstartswithme

Love yourself

It sounds easy this whole “love yourself” thing but how do you do it and what does it mean? I’ve heard people say this years and years ago when I was going through the stages of hating myself, being emotionally disconnected to the point that I was self destructive. It never made sense and seemed too easy for someone who couldn’t possible understand what I was going through, to tell me to “love yourself”  Are you supposed to simply wake up one day and declare “I LOVE myself? I have slowly come to realise through my own personal journey that it is NOT selfish to put yourself first and to be kind to the person who is ultimately the most important person in YOUR life – YOU. 

Because I was so disconnected with my self, I went though most of my life being an eager beaver – you know the type who over extends oneself to please others, say yes to things because you are afraid of letting people down and then regret it later as it will compromise your time or your priorities in one way or the other. I attracted the wrong type of people and experienced a lot of heartache by people who made me feel sad, used and broke my confidence into tiny little pieces. I also used to spend very little time on my own and instead crammed every waking hour in the company of people and kept busy. It was as if I hated to be alone or lonely. Now that I have stepped back from myself, I can see symptoms of this in other people and I regret being in that frame of mind.

I am happier being on my own. In fact I thrive in it! It makes me appreciate the time I spend with my friends and family even more. I pick and choose who and when I spend time with so I am not giving away too much of my energy, draining my resources and ensuring that its quality over quantity. In the age of Facebook and the numbers game, it does feel like there is pressure on us to be someone to everyone, have lots of friends and be everywhere to be seen and heard. How many times have you said or felt …… “it made me realise who my friends really are? What does that mean? Your expectation was not met. Not everyone will respond or reciprocate in the way you expect them to. There have been many times over the years where I have bend over backwards to fulfill my obligations but I cannot say the same when it came to doing something back for me. I had to question two things – why was I over extending myself and why people weren’t doing the same for me? Well the truth of the matter is that people get spoiled when you keep giving. When you don’t appreciate yourself enough, you end up making up for it by being a crowd-pleaser and people feed off that energy. As for why I wasn’t getting anything in return – I was probably hoping that by over giving, people would love and appreciate me ….ultimately making me feel better about myself. It was like being on the ledge – its a very temporary feeling of safety and yet one false step and you are in danger! Unfortunately the more you give, the less you get. So take care of self, be kind to yourself and then your giving will be more meaningful and there will be less expectations on your part. The result ? Less resentment and heartache for you.

My spiritual journey helped me get to the core of my issues and I learned to love myself. I realised everything starts from and ends there. I realised where I was going wrong. It helped me to be more comfortable in my skin and love myself more. Here are some practical steps to your journey to make the important changes that will lead you to the same place …..

So what does “Love yourself” mean to me?

  1. My time is precious. It is okay to be discerning by picking and choosing what I want to be involved in. 
  2. It is okay to say no sometimes. No one is going to hate or dislike you for it. If they do then its a reflection of their own issues, not yours
  3. Spending time on my own. Learn to sit and do nothing occasionally or opt for a night in with food you love and a book/film or music that makes you feel good. Find your comfort zone and you will start appreciating this quiet time. 
  4. Reconnecting with self is ultimately the easiest and best way forward – remind yourself of what you were passionate about when you were younger. Look at what you can do to take action on it. For example, I used to love art but lost my way throughout the years and I realised how much I missed it a few years ago. It started with a sketch book and a pencil and now I have developed my creativity to the point people want to buy my work! 
  5. Do things that make you happy. Start with this and then extend it to helping others and being there for others. If you only concentrate on giving then you will never be able to take occasionally.
  6. Make a happy list. Get some paper and pen and write down things that make you happy – music, food, travel, places, coffee, people. books, films etc. Every now and then when you feel low — go back to this list and pick one item from the list and do it — an easy pick you up! 
  7. If you don’t want to do something or can’t do it….be honest and say so. Don’t complicate life by saying yes and then fretting over it later. 
  8. Prioritise yourself – stop putting yourself last on the list! Put yourself on the top of the list sometimes. It is not selfish to look after yourself and your needs. You are of no help to anyone if you are worn out and bitter!
  9. Mirror image – the best way to love yourself is to spend a few minutes each day looking at yourself in the mirror. Accept every flaw, every wrinkle and imperfection. Love every perfect sparkle and shine that emits from your face. Love the depth of your eyes, every fleck and the light that goes straight into your soul. Do this often and you will see small changes in how you feel about yourself.
  10. Start cutting the cord with people who have you feel unworthy. Create three columns on a piece of paper. On the first column, title it name, 2nd column is for “positive feelings” and name the last one – “negative feelings”. Now put down the first name that comes to mind and then feel the person and how the affect you. Is it a negative or positive feeling? Fill it with as much or as little information. Now go back and look at the name and see how that person has an effect on your life. Is it a positive or negative impact? Are you happy to have this person in your life? Write down what you can do to change this feeling. Talk to them? Avoid them or change the way you react to them. Believe me this is a powerful and very pragmatic way to filter through and declutter your life. It also takes the emotion out of the process as you are working on a very visual and practical way.

I hope this will be the start of the healing process for you. Lots of love x Angela

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How does Integrated Energy Therapy vary from Reiki?

I trained in Reiki 1 a few years ago and I have to say it felt amazingly easily to tune into the energy and make sense of the healing powers that I already had. It felt like I could make sense of the sensations and energies I often felt around people who needed healing. My natural instinct when someone is ill. upset or feeling low, is to hug, put my hands behind their heart or hold their hands. I have had many people including my own mother throughout the years who would say to me “I don’t know what you are doing but I feel better”. So when I was first introduced to Reiki in 1997, I took to it instantly. Although I never practiced it as a professional, I always used my healing for the good of family and friends. Back  in the old days when my life revolved around being a journalist and being in the “proper” job, holistic and spiritual elements to my life was a best kept secret. I did what I had to do to help without too much fuss. Obviously now I have embraced it fully and decided that life is too short to care about what people think or feel about your believes. Today I work to improve the lives of my clients with all my abilities – mediumship, psychic, art, spiritual guidance and of course, healing. I am fully attuned to the Violet Angelic Energy Rays which is the corner stone of the Integrated Energy Therapy healing.


 IET is healing’s “best kept secret”.

The founder of this energy healing technique is a very simple and laid back man and its not pushed out to the masses in a sleek and commercial way. I connected with this energy very quickly when I was introduced to it last year and I knew instantly…..this is it. This is what I was looking for my healing and it made sense. It was light on the practitioner as unlike Reiki, you don’t take into yourself, the energy transfer leaves your body totally and you are merely channeling the energy away from the client to the Angels. I also found the steps simpler to follow and easy to use my natural intuitive connection to identify and release the areas of concern. IET is also very gentle but my goodness, the learning lessons and results can be very powerful. Angelic energy itself is very pure and vibrant but the session sometimes taps into other areas of my mediumship which  I love as it bring a deeper connection to the client. 

One of the common questions I get asked about IET is what is the difference or similarities to Reiki. Let’s face it, Reiki is a more commercially known name and you have plenty of people practising so when people think of healing, they do think of Reiki. It is a a little hard to explain to people in detail and also why I am passionate about this new generation of healing. Here is a response from one of our Master Instructors about this commonly asked question:

  1. Both IET and Reiki are attunement based energy therapy techniques. That is, students are attuned by a Master as part of their training. The attunement permanently expands the student’s human energy field to be a vessel for a specific energy vibration. The IET vibration uses a violet angelic energy ray that is higher in vibration than Reiki. IET practitioners heartlink to their healing angels and direct the angelic vibration through the IET techniques to support themselves and others in their healing.

    Whereas the gift of the Reiki ray is physical healing, the gift of the IET ray is emotional, mental and karmic healing.

  2. Reiki is a passive energy therapy approach. Basically you flood the cellular memory with Reiki energy and when enough energy is present, the blocks clear. As a veteran Reiki practitioner, I found that many times I would know that a client was not clear but found that the Reiki energy vibration and technique just could not reach and clear the deep blockage. IET is an active energy therapy in that after flooding the cellular memory with energy you use the powerful IET integration energy points, your angelic heartlink energy and the pullout release techniques to go in and clear even the deep energy blocks.

  3. The focus of IET is on clearing suppressed cellular memories and emotions (even karmic ones) from the energy anatomy and human energy field. IET is based on a unique cellular memory map in which 9 primary areas of the energy anatomy are identified as storing specific suppressed emotions and are targeted for clearing. IET hand positions are focused to clear the 9 cellular memory areas. The Reiki hand positions are designed to provide a general coverage to the energy anatomy with no specific focus to clearing suppressed emotions.

  4. An attribute of IET that makes it so quick and powerful in clearing energy blockages is the 9 sets of Integration Power Points. Integration power points are acupressure like points which when activated by the IET energy vibration trigger the quick and easy release of even the most suppressed cellular memories and emotions.

Another question I get asked is how many sessions? I don’t like to pressure people into booking lots of sessions but three sessions is a good place to start for someone who is used to healing and its cheaper as I do block booking deals. You get a lot out of three sessions especially as it does take time to work on the different areas of blocks as on one session, there may be a need to focus on one particular area and the next will focus on the secondary block. The trainer also talks about who the focus is not just on using IET energy for clearing but also for expansion. There are some gentle techniques used which can accelerate one’s soul mission. This can open doors for them, experience new areas of their self expression, work, improve relationship and bring about positive changes in their lives. The results vary from one person to the other. It is also very much on the individual as to whether they are ready for healing and releasing. I found some people needed more because of the resistance during the healing while some only needed one session to blast out old habits or emotional baggage. 

Integrated Energy Therapy® (IET®) is one of the next generation - hands on - power energy therapy systems that get the “issues out of your tissues” for good! Join me for a beautiful and loving IET session in my modest but welcoming therapy room where we will working on your issues to help in all aspects of your life. You can read more about IET here.

Please do not hesitate to leave me a comment or message if you have any questions about IET and healing.

Integrated Energy Therapy® (IET®) is one of the next generation – hands on – power energy therapy systems that get the “issues out of your tissues” for good!

New Moon – time to feel, rebuild and heal

After the amazing lunar eclipse which I stayed up for and absorbed, I really didn’t think there would be anything, energy wise to top it. But lo and behold another new moon is upon us tomorrow night.  Check the time it will appear where you are here. This time it is not the visual aspect of the moon that is going to stun us, it is the energy and the lessons we will be picking up that will be both wonderful and annoying. Why the later? Because there will be past issues coming up to the surface, emotions and by the end of it, some us will feel raw and exposed.  Sounds scary doesn’t it? When I work on someone with energy healing (Integrated Energy Healing) I get drawn to the core of their current issue. You may well think that a trauma or experience when you were a child is tucked away in the past but subconsciously your mind and body is clocking every single movement, decision or reaction. Its like buying a new laptop and you download something or merely click on a link and you get some sort of a pop up which irritates you for a  moment. You click it away and think its gone. But your operating system is being affected by it every single time you switch the laptop on. One day you’ll find your system sluggish or just compromised. With the right software or virus remover, you may be able to get rid of the virus once and for all. But until you do, it will be running in the background and corrupting your system. Your mind and body is the operating system and until you get to the bottom of your issues be it past experiences, heartbreak, conditioning or guilt, it is going to be there affecting your body and blocking your full potential. Not everything difficult that comes our way is bad – often they are put there to make you stop and think. Let us all hold hands and face our truth to heal and get on with our lives. New Moon by Angela Mitchell

Harness the energy that is coming your way firstly by smudging your house with some good quality sage. Start at the front door and face north. Go around to every single room in the house. I tend to play some lovely spiritual music by Dr Nippun Aggarwal  who makes the most beautiful meditation music. Once you have finished smudging then put the sage in a safe place and if you can spare a few moments, just sit in the silence. Ask whoever who guides you – a diety, God, Spirit guide, Angels or a loved one in Spirit… help you connect with the energy. Ask Mother Earth to bring you the messages you need to help you deal with the here and now. You don’t need hours, just a few minutes will suffice.

With that done, sit down and do your intention list. Write down clearly what you want – “I would be grateful if…………” Keep your words positive, grateful and kind. If someone was giving away free gifts at an event, who would he choose? The kind and grateful one or the miserable, demanding and rude person?

Be open to good things. Sometimes it may be a little financial reward, at times making amends with a long lost friend or passing an exam which you have failed several times. Some lucky ones may even have a big windfall but that doesn’t mean your Angels or guides were sleeping on the job! Its all about timing and when something needs to happen… will happen.

The next thing to do is washing your crystals and putting them out in clean cooled boiled water and covered with cling film in a bowl.  Leave them outside over night.

You can read more about the new moon here

Please feel free to leave me a comment or ask a question.