How I struggled to hear myself until I was made to LISTEN

How I struggled to hear myself until I was made to LISTEN

In November’s issue of Fate & Fortune magazine, you will see a centre spread on someone you know…..ME! I was approached to speak about how I became a Medium or my journey rather. After a considerable amount of pondering as I didn’t want it to be sensationalist type of journalism as it wasn’t you usual story. It is not that I started suddenly seeing spirits. On the contrary, I was well aware of them as a toddler but realised they were in fact spirits at the tender age of 10. I struggled with this awareness for almost all of my life. I hated this gift but I also helped people along the way. I didn’t have anyone to help me understand it or mentor me so I was doing things properly. These days we have articles, workshops, teachers and information at the click of the “search” button. When I was growing up, spirits were always seen as scary, evil and negative while mediums were often manipulative and untrustworthy. I should know as I went to see almost every medium in Malaysia as my mother was alwayis searching for help and answers. But in turn I was sexually molested by one, made to drink chicken blood by another, cheated out of money and another one encouraged my parents to destroy all of my artwork and paintings in the 90’s as he claimed it was all “evil”.

The scariest experience I had was with a medium/holyman who decided I was indeed possessed and therefore arranged for a ceremony to rid me of the evil spirit. All I had done was accompany a work mate who was trying to get extra magic to get her food business she ran on the side with her husband, successful. As I sat there, I felt a weird presence in the room and next thing I know I fainted and I woke up to him saying I was possessed. I was held down and all sorts of weird things being said. As you can imagine, I was incredibly scared and concerned that this “spirit” was the cause of some bad luck in my life. I went home and told my family and they too were anxious and agreed to the ceremony. On the said day we walked into the room, terrified and felt we were at the mercy of this man and his assistants. They asked me to lie down I felt very weak and I felt a blackness come over me as the holyman continued to chant. I think I fell into a deep sleep or lost consciousness but I think I was also given something to drink beforehand. Next thing I know, as I started to regain consciousness, I couldn’t move. My hands, legs and even my head was being held down by loads of men. I could hear the man chanting away and giving instructions to not let me go as apparently the “devil will want to resist and get up”. I also felt someone pricking my feet with a sharp pencil and my toe was in agony. This is a very unnatural and terrifying moment. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. 

Surrounded by strange men and unable to move, I begin to cry and tried to call for my family. Next thing I knew, water started pouring water on my face. I couldn’t breathe and as I had my mouth open, I started choking on the water. There must have been seven to eight men holding me down and I could see three standing above me with one litre bottles of water continuously pouring water on my face. I screamed as loudly as I could, gargling and choking sounds in between for my family. Each time I did, more water would be poured down to my face. I knew if I didn’t do something that I would drown and die within seconds. “Bobbbbby……save me….this is Angie”  I choked out. 

I heard the holyman say “its the devil hahhaha…..nice try, don’t listen to it. Its very clever trying to make us believe its her” and I screamed “Nooooo its me” and I heard my mother screaming to be let inside the room. I heard her say to my friend “She is going to die…..I thought you were her friend” and then I heard my father push in shouted at the man to stop. I cannot tell you how relieved I was as I was already starting to feel dizzy and had so much water in my nose, mouth and throat that I knew with certain that a second more I would could have died on that cold cemented floor.  

I never spoke to that friend again nor did I seek the help of a charlatan ever again. She did nothing to help me and in fact stopped my family from entering the room. She shrugged off the whole thing and didn’t seem to understand how scared I was. I shut myself out from spiritual matters and focused on went to temples or churches. My bad luck were merely challenges who made me who I am and they were certainly nothing to do with curses or spells.

So for many years I set aside my spirituality and hated it. This didn’t mean that they stopped appearing or speaking to me. In fact they became more obvious as the years went by. I would get prophetic dreams, messages, signs, see, hear and sense spirit wherever I went. I helped friends, cleared houses, read cards and would get strong feelings about people or situations. People were at times grateful, overwhelmed or scared off. No one really likes someone who “knows” things especially if they are insecure. I wasn’t trained so I went bumbling around life with this burden around my shoulders. 

In September 2013 my life changed, for the better. What I resisted for my whole life came right at me and I was smacked in the face literally to face up to who I was! Sometimes you have to be pushed to the edge to see the truth. I stopped fearing spirits and embraced my calling. Fate & Fortune Magazine

This is the driving force behind my psychic and mediumship workshops. You don’t have to walk through life feeling as though your gifts and abilities are a burden. You don’t have to be scared of spirits. I hope my story has inspired you. Please feel free if you want to ask any questions and if you want information about my next workshop.

Happy Father’s Day to all dads who are no longer with us

Happy Father’s Day to my dad. I know you hated the cards and presents but enjoyed spending time with us especially as we were growing up. Thank you for continuing to support, nurture and teach me in Spirit. Still miss your physical presence but appreciate your spiritual embrace. Love you.

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to all dads who are no longer with us but always by our side, guiding and loving us.

‪#‎fathersday‬ ‪#‎happyfathersday‬ ‪#‎love‬ ‪#‎happiness‬ ‪#‎healing‬ ‪#‎lifeafterdeath‬

Messages from my Grandma

I woke up early after a beautiful dream where my maternal grandmother, my guiding light in #spirit spoke to me, held me near and sent me so much love that I was tingling when I woke up. At the very end, she wrote some numbers on my hand and as I was waking up, saw “682”. I knew instantly it was Angel numbers as I have been given these numbers in the same order before.
 
682 predominantly reminds us to keep the faith with regards to abundance and to keep doing what we are doing, basically reconfirming that we are on the right path.
 
But its the last bit which stood out for me:
“Angel Number 682 may also indicate that it is time for you to consider beginning a spiritually-based profession, practice and/or career, or a venture that aids and assists others. Use your strengths and talents to uplift and enlighten others through serving humanity in compassionate and loving ways. Your soul mission is a sacred labour that you undertake for the betterment of yourself and others”.
My life purpose has always been about helping others in whatever way possible. My grandmother was my inspiration. A psychic, healer and one of the most charitable people i know. My mother used to say that she grew up seeing her mother give away clothes, money and several times, food even if she had to go without. My inner satnav led me to what I do now and even though it can be challenging at times, I have absolutely no regrets because I am happy! It also allows me to contribute my time to charities and support causes.
 
The last time I felt I was making a difference was when I was a journalist (a few year and a bit now) and able to affect lives, instigate change and even bring clarity with my stories. These days I can do it by the natural abilities that lay dormant for many years until I was ready. Nothing makes my heart sing more than hearing from the lovely people I have read for or seen for healing, that they feel better, things have shifted, that they felt uplifted after hearing from their loved ones in Spirit. I also felt the confirmation that the “betterment of others” relates to my workshops which has helped a number of people get started on their journey to spiritual self discovery. My students feedback how they are doing and it makes me feel so proud.
 
Such a lovely message of reassurance from my grandma or Ammai as we call her especially on my husband’s birthday today. I am grateful that my work is so flexible these days that I could take a few hours off to pamper my husband with a three course meal and presents. 
 
Happy Dreaming!
 
#dreams #messages #spiritual #lifepurpose #love #happiness #spirit #grandmother #angel #angelnumbers #manifesting Doreen Virtue
How to Start Loving Yourself and Be Happy in 10 steps

How to Start Loving Yourself and Be Happy in 10 steps

I woke up this morning with a message for all of us. It’s so easy to forget about the most important person in our lives….”me”. Hope this lifts you up today x  #love  #spiritual #allstartswithme

Love yourself

It sounds easy this whole “love yourself” thing but how do you do it and what does it mean? I’ve heard people say this years and years ago when I was going through the stages of hating myself, being emotionally disconnected to the point that I was self destructive. It never made sense and seemed too easy for someone who couldn’t possible understand what I was going through, to tell me to “love yourself”  Are you supposed to simply wake up one day and declare “I LOVE myself? I have slowly come to realise through my own personal journey that it is NOT selfish to put yourself first and to be kind to the person who is ultimately the most important person in YOUR life – YOU. 

Because I was so disconnected with my self, I went though most of my life being an eager beaver – you know the type who over extends oneself to please others, say yes to things because you are afraid of letting people down and then regret it later as it will compromise your time or your priorities in one way or the other. I attracted the wrong type of people and experienced a lot of heartache by people who made me feel sad, used and broke my confidence into tiny little pieces. I also used to spend very little time on my own and instead crammed every waking hour in the company of people and kept busy. It was as if I hated to be alone or lonely. Now that I have stepped back from myself, I can see symptoms of this in other people and I regret being in that frame of mind.

I am happier being on my own. In fact I thrive in it! It makes me appreciate the time I spend with my friends and family even more. I pick and choose who and when I spend time with so I am not giving away too much of my energy, draining my resources and ensuring that its quality over quantity. In the age of Facebook and the numbers game, it does feel like there is pressure on us to be someone to everyone, have lots of friends and be everywhere to be seen and heard. How many times have you said or felt …… “it made me realise who my friends really are? What does that mean? Your expectation was not met. Not everyone will respond or reciprocate in the way you expect them to. There have been many times over the years where I have bend over backwards to fulfill my obligations but I cannot say the same when it came to doing something back for me. I had to question two things – why was I over extending myself and why people weren’t doing the same for me? Well the truth of the matter is that people get spoiled when you keep giving. When you don’t appreciate yourself enough, you end up making up for it by being a crowd-pleaser and people feed off that energy. As for why I wasn’t getting anything in return – I was probably hoping that by over giving, people would love and appreciate me ….ultimately making me feel better about myself. It was like being on the ledge – its a very temporary feeling of safety and yet one false step and you are in danger! Unfortunately the more you give, the less you get. So take care of self, be kind to yourself and then your giving will be more meaningful and there will be less expectations on your part. The result ? Less resentment and heartache for you.

My spiritual journey helped me get to the core of my issues and I learned to love myself. I realised everything starts from and ends there. I realised where I was going wrong. It helped me to be more comfortable in my skin and love myself more. Here are some practical steps to your journey to make the important changes that will lead you to the same place …..

So what does “Love yourself” mean to me?

  1. My time is precious. It is okay to be discerning by picking and choosing what I want to be involved in. 
  2. It is okay to say no sometimes. No one is going to hate or dislike you for it. If they do then its a reflection of their own issues, not yours
  3. Spending time on my own. Learn to sit and do nothing occasionally or opt for a night in with food you love and a book/film or music that makes you feel good. Find your comfort zone and you will start appreciating this quiet time. 
  4. Reconnecting with self is ultimately the easiest and best way forward – remind yourself of what you were passionate about when you were younger. Look at what you can do to take action on it. For example, I used to love art but lost my way throughout the years and I realised how much I missed it a few years ago. It started with a sketch book and a pencil and now I have developed my creativity to the point people want to buy my work! 
  5. Do things that make you happy. Start with this and then extend it to helping others and being there for others. If you only concentrate on giving then you will never be able to take occasionally.
  6. Make a happy list. Get some paper and pen and write down things that make you happy – music, food, travel, places, coffee, people. books, films etc. Every now and then when you feel low — go back to this list and pick one item from the list and do it — an easy pick you up! 
  7. If you don’t want to do something or can’t do it….be honest and say so. Don’t complicate life by saying yes and then fretting over it later. 
  8. Prioritise yourself – stop putting yourself last on the list! Put yourself on the top of the list sometimes. It is not selfish to look after yourself and your needs. You are of no help to anyone if you are worn out and bitter!
  9. Mirror image – the best way to love yourself is to spend a few minutes each day looking at yourself in the mirror. Accept every flaw, every wrinkle and imperfection. Love every perfect sparkle and shine that emits from your face. Love the depth of your eyes, every fleck and the light that goes straight into your soul. Do this often and you will see small changes in how you feel about yourself.
  10. Start cutting the cord with people who have you feel unworthy. Create three columns on a piece of paper. On the first column, title it name, 2nd column is for “positive feelings” and name the last one – “negative feelings”. Now put down the first name that comes to mind and then feel the person and how the affect you. Is it a negative or positive feeling? Fill it with as much or as little information. Now go back and look at the name and see how that person has an effect on your life. Is it a positive or negative impact? Are you happy to have this person in your life? Write down what you can do to change this feeling. Talk to them? Avoid them or change the way you react to them. Believe me this is a powerful and very pragmatic way to filter through and declutter your life. It also takes the emotion out of the process as you are working on a very visual and practical way.

I hope this will be the start of the healing process for you. Lots of love x Angela

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