“Mommy………daddy….there is a man in my room! 

Apart from the disruption in sleep, the words above screamed at you in between sobs can make most parents want to run away and hide probably from both the Spirits as well as their children. First of all, it is tricky to explain to your little ones what they are experiencing if you are not very interested or aware of spirits. It is the same feeling I get when I am asked to calculate big numbers! Part of it is having to explain something you don’t fully understand but also it is incredibly difficult to see your little one feeling so scared about something you can’t see or feel.  Parents have a natural instinct to protect their children and when they can’t, it feels like your hands are tied and it is frustrating.

As someone who suffered tremendously as a child with spiritual experiences and learned to deal with it on my own, I have been thinking of writing this post and a possible e-book for a long time but as usual I get side tracked and never got around it. But Spirit have ways to get me to do things! I had several clients who came to see asking about the very same topic – all having children who see spirits and don’t know what to do to help them, messages from friends and some former clients. So despite having a hundred and one things to do today, I was pulled to the laptop and the words are flowing as we speak. 

First thing you need to understand is that we are all born intuitive and the ability to see spirit. As we grow older and as the mind analyses everything and our thoughts are influenced by our upbringing or our own opinions, some of us “forget” that part of our self.  The second most important point is that spirits mean no harm. It is our fear of them or the unknown that makes us “feel” the negative energy.

The most common visits are from family in Spirit. Grandparents, parents or anyone related to the child will want to visit and if possible, communicate their love. Of course not all of them know how to and children may only be able to see shadows which in the dark looks scary.

It is not uncommon for strangers who may have lived in the house before your family moved in or on the plot of land the house was built on, come for a little look. Put yourself in their position and ask yourself, wouldn’t you do the same? Would you not visit your grandchild after you passed? Or come by to see the house you had the best memories in? The answer is a big YES!  

Children have more spiritual experiences than psychic at the beginning as it takes time for them to fully understand and flex their psychic ability while being able to see or feel Spirit is easier as they have no preconceived notions, prejudice or fear – you can say this is an open door for spiritual experiences. If they are meant to be spiritually connected throughout their lives then this will continue and they will attract mentors and helpers to develop their abilities.

The challenge is their reaction to a Spirit visit. Fear comes naturally as when the lights are out and they see a shadow or a person standing in their bedroom who is not someone they recognise. Children have a natural curiosity and will want to know more – who, why and what. Others will be shaken to the core because they KNOW that they are seeing Spirit or something they can’t fully understand.

Why did I write this? I KNOW how it feels! I learned from my own experiences and want to help the new generation of children to be more comfortable with the Spiritual world. I spent a long time fearing and thinking Spirits were evil and scary. But I know better now and I fully appreciate every moment I spent working with Spirit. 

I had spirits visiting me from a very young age but it was only when I was 10 when I realised that the people I was seeing were actually spirits. It scared me and I wasn’t very comfortable because I couldn’t understand their presence and the feelings that would come with it. For example a cold spot on my arm, goosebumps or sensing their death or hearing a message – it all freaked me out. Of course now a medium, this is all normal and I don’t feel negativity at all when I am near spirit. But as a child it was scary, intrusive and really affected my life in ways I cannot even begin to explain.

For many years I slept with the lights on and in fact always had the light on in hotel rooms or when I was alone in the house, I hated the dark, I had nightmares, disturbed sleep, felt misunderstood, and thought I was a misfit.

My parents tried everything to help me and my dad would often get to sleep really late as he would stay up in case I had a nightmare or an experience whereby I would start screaming in the night. It would take ages for them to calm me down and for me to go back to sleep. My mother would pray for me and sing devotional songs to make me feel better. I remember seeing several mediums and medicine men to help me but nothing helped. I had all sorts of charms and protective things around my bed and in my pillow to help but it just went on for years. I also suffered from sleep paralysis for a long time and I don’t have to tell you how absolutely terrifying an experience it was for me as a child. I mistakenly thought I was being attacked by spirits and that added to my fear.

So what have I learned from my own experiences? And what advise can I give to parents? Here is my essential list on how you can help your children:

• First of all, it is important to have an open dialogue with your young ones. Try to understand what they are seeing. Write it down in a book with a date and time of when they wake up.

• Look back at what you have written down later that day. Try to understand what your child experienced that night. For example:  Tim said he saw a tall man wearing a hat, standing next to the wardrobe. He had a cane and was reaching out for Tim.  Now if you look at this information – you have information about a spirit contact – tall man who lived in an era where men wore hats and possibly dressed in a suit. Now think about someone in spirit who matches that description on both  you and your partner’s side of the family. Was Is it a grandfather or great grandfather? Ask family members and maybe have a look at an old photo album. You may well find a photo that links to the Spirit contact. Allow your child to view the photo and explain who this person was, if possible describe their character. Now from Tim’s description it sounds like the spirit contact merely wanted to say hello and was reaching out with affection. Explain to the child that sometimes, when someone passes into the light, they do come back to say hello and to show love.  Take the fear and negativity out of that experience so that all that remains is LOVE and the child is now able to enjoy the experience. 

• You can also teach your children to speak to the spirit contact. They can also be taught to say something simple like “thank you for visiting but I want to sleep now” so that sets a sort of boundary that Spirit will respect.

• If your children are a little older and able to write, give them a journal, help them decorate it and call it their “spiritual journal” or whatever you both would like to call it. Guide them to write down their experiences. There may even be messages from spirit but also from their own intuition.

• Guide them to “humanise” the spirit contact. I know it sounds weird but by teaching them to have a conversation with the Spirit, it almost makes it a more normal experience.  They can ask “what is your name? “who are you” “Do you know my parents? “where do you live? So this allows the fear to take second place.  You will find that they will get more curious and be able to talk about it without any fear.

• You can clear the energy in their room by smudging the house and areas where they see the spirit contact with white sage. I always have a lighted candle on a clean plate and a shell for my sage to rest on as I walk around the house. You can say “whoever who is visiting, please go to the light. We politely ask you to leave this space”

• Sensitive children can also feel the pain of the spirit contact’s passing or even their emotions. For example if a grandchild was born after a grandmother has passed, she may feel great sadness at not being alive for the birth and being able to physically hold that child. Spirits sometimes miss their “physical” life and it can seem sad. Some children will feel it more than others. It is up the parents to understand and explain this to the children as they grow older.

• The most important thing parents can do is to try to understand what their children are going through and not dismiss their experiences as “nonsense” or “rubbish” or worse still blame it on their over active imagination. It is very frustrating for children who can’t express themselves clearly to be told what they are experiencing is not important!

• The best way to help someone is to understand what the other person is going through. Read up about how mediumship, spiritual experiences and how the different gifts work. There is plenty of free information on the Internet and books you can read.

• Get support – you can take them to your local spiritual church. They will be able to give both you and your child important insights and recommend useful books and reading material. Almost all Spiritual Churches have a development circle where people can learn the basics, attend every week to expand their knowledge and experience with Spirit. I am not entirely sure if they do work with children but I have seen teenagers attend. This is something to consider if you feel your child has an interest in developing spiritually.
• Go see an experienced and knowledgeable medium either with your child or on your own to get better insight into how it all works.

• Don’t doubt your children if they say they see spirits. This is a guarantee that they will suffer from insecurities and feel misunderstood. The most important thing you can do is to LISTEN and acknowledge what they are going through.

• Just remember that most of the time Spirit people show themselves because they are truly desperate to be acknowledged. They want to reach out and they want to communicate. The more your explain what the child is experiencing, the more they will be comfortable and relaxed. But to do this, you the parent need to be comfortable with THEIR experiences.

Finally as the parent you need to make the effort to take the fear out of the experience and perhaps also be open to learning more about the spirit world. Understand that they come in contact with us to say hello and to reach out. They don’t mean us any harm but then you have to realise that not all spirits are the same. Some can be a little too eager than others which means they aren’t familiar with their communication skills and then to give out the wrong message or be a little clumsy. 

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you have any questions or would like me to support your child in their development. 

I love feedback so please feel free to leave me a comment and let me know if this was useful to you.