How I struggled to hear myself until I was made to LISTEN

How I struggled to hear myself until I was made to LISTEN

In November’s issue of Fate & Fortune magazine, you will see a centre spread on someone you know…..ME! I was approached to speak about how I became a Medium or my journey rather. After a considerable amount of pondering as I didn’t want it to be sensationalist type of journalism as it wasn’t you usual story. It is not that I started suddenly seeing spirits. On the contrary, I was well aware of them as a toddler but realised they were in fact spirits at the tender age of 10. I struggled with this awareness for almost all of my life. I hated this gift but I also helped people along the way. I didn’t have anyone to help me understand it or mentor me so I was doing things properly. These days we have articles, workshops, teachers and information at the click of the “search” button. When I was growing up, spirits were always seen as scary, evil and negative while mediums were often manipulative and untrustworthy. I should know as I went to see almost every medium in Malaysia as my mother was alwayis searching for help and answers. But in turn I was sexually molested by one, made to drink chicken blood by another, cheated out of money and another one encouraged my parents to destroy all of my artwork and paintings in the 90’s as he claimed it was all “evil”.

The scariest experience I had was with a medium/holyman who decided I was indeed possessed and therefore arranged for a ceremony to rid me of the evil spirit. All I had done was accompany a work mate who was trying to get extra magic to get her food business she ran on the side with her husband, successful. As I sat there, I felt a weird presence in the room and next thing I know I fainted and I woke up to him saying I was possessed. I was held down and all sorts of weird things being said. As you can imagine, I was incredibly scared and concerned that this “spirit” was the cause of some bad luck in my life. I went home and told my family and they too were anxious and agreed to the ceremony. On the said day we walked into the room, terrified and felt we were at the mercy of this man and his assistants. They asked me to lie down I felt very weak and I felt a blackness come over me as the holyman continued to chant. I think I fell into a deep sleep or lost consciousness but I think I was also given something to drink beforehand. Next thing I know, as I started to regain consciousness, I couldn’t move. My hands, legs and even my head was being held down by loads of men. I could hear the man chanting away and giving instructions to not let me go as apparently the “devil will want to resist and get up”. I also felt someone pricking my feet with a sharp pencil and my toe was in agony. This is a very unnatural and terrifying moment. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. 

Surrounded by strange men and unable to move, I begin to cry and tried to call for my family. Next thing I knew, water started pouring water on my face. I couldn’t breathe and as I had my mouth open, I started choking on the water. There must have been seven to eight men holding me down and I could see three standing above me with one litre bottles of water continuously pouring water on my face. I screamed as loudly as I could, gargling and choking sounds in between for my family. Each time I did, more water would be poured down to my face. I knew if I didn’t do something that I would drown and die within seconds. “Bobbbbby……save me….this is Angie”  I choked out. 

I heard the holyman say “its the devil hahhaha…..nice try, don’t listen to it. Its very clever trying to make us believe its her” and I screamed “Nooooo its me” and I heard my mother screaming to be let inside the room. I heard her say to my friend “She is going to die…..I thought you were her friend” and then I heard my father push in shouted at the man to stop. I cannot tell you how relieved I was as I was already starting to feel dizzy and had so much water in my nose, mouth and throat that I knew with certain that a second more I would could have died on that cold cemented floor.  

I never spoke to that friend again nor did I seek the help of a charlatan ever again. She did nothing to help me and in fact stopped my family from entering the room. She shrugged off the whole thing and didn’t seem to understand how scared I was. I shut myself out from spiritual matters and focused on went to temples or churches. My bad luck were merely challenges who made me who I am and they were certainly nothing to do with curses or spells.

So for many years I set aside my spirituality and hated it. This didn’t mean that they stopped appearing or speaking to me. In fact they became more obvious as the years went by. I would get prophetic dreams, messages, signs, see, hear and sense spirit wherever I went. I helped friends, cleared houses, read cards and would get strong feelings about people or situations. People were at times grateful, overwhelmed or scared off. No one really likes someone who “knows” things especially if they are insecure. I wasn’t trained so I went bumbling around life with this burden around my shoulders. 

In September 2013 my life changed, for the better. What I resisted for my whole life came right at me and I was smacked in the face literally to face up to who I was! Sometimes you have to be pushed to the edge to see the truth. I stopped fearing spirits and embraced my calling. Fate & Fortune Magazine

This is the driving force behind my psychic and mediumship workshops. You don’t have to walk through life feeling as though your gifts and abilities are a burden. You don’t have to be scared of spirits. I hope my story has inspired you. Please feel free if you want to ask any questions and if you want information about my next workshop.

Speaking to my father

I was asked to contribute to an article on talking to parents after death. I decided to do this because it was something I do and believe in. In the days before I fully embraced my mediumship, I spoke to my dad to help me heal my grief. I was in such a difficult place emotionally and I was struggling with the situation I found myself in. Trying to deal with the death of someone who had such a strong and definite influence in my life was difficult. People like that leave a huge void. My father was no saint but he was also my saviour in many ways. So I would speak to him in my mind, sometimes ask for answers before going to sleep or even during meditation. I remember very clearly the very first time I was umming and ahing about going to the Arthur Findlay Spiritual college. It was a huge decision for me. The cost was one thing but to dedicate 7 days to try to understand my spirituality and mediumship was a big commitment. The fear that I would go all the way there and find out I wasn’t gifted in anyway was massive. I wanted to go but then I didn’t feel I was good enough. The course was on the Saturday but on Thursday night I was still undecided and hadn’t booked. That night I asked my father — should I go? Is this what I should be doing? I went to bed with more questions than answers. In my dream, my father came into the house and sat down on the dining table. I was sat there with lots of different brochures and leaflets. He sat there with his favourite whisky, speaking to me.. debating the pros and cons. As I was waking up, I heard myself say “go to Arthur Findlay College”. I knew that was the answer to my question the night before. Of course as a skeptic I thought well it was probably my imagination but as I lay there feeling this message, I felt my father’s presence and I had a deep sense of knowing of the details of the dream. I said to myself, well its probably too late anyway as AFC is very international and courses and the rooms tend to be fully booked months in advanced so what chance would I have less than 24 hours before the day? I called them anyway expecting to be rejected and guess what…..they had ONE room left. Someone cancelled their booking so I could take their place ! I have never doubted his support and his messages since that day. He is very much my influence and inspiration in my wonderful journey. It is very apt that this article appears on NYE and on the day I remember him the most.

I would like to comment on the headline which is a tad misleading. I don’t think any of us insisted that our relationship is better now than when they were alive. My case is a little different as a Medium, I can send and receive messages from the Spirit world so yes I have been given knowledge about my father and why he was the way he was, which has allowed me to get past his flaws and there is no longer that barrier which was here in the physical world.Apart from speaking and communicating with him, I also get signs and visits from him. I am humbled and grateful that I do as its been a very important part of my journey so far.

The article does not highlight the fact that I am a Medium and I believe that was meant to be. I would prefer people see the story for what it is — a relationship between a daughter and her father rather than a medium and a contact.

I do hope that anyone reading this today will find some comfort from all of us who shared our stories. I could barely speak to the journalist during the interview as I was so choked up.

Daily Mail article 31/12/15

Daily Mail article 31/12/15

You can read the full article here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3379647/The-women-talk-dead-parents-day-insist-relationship-s-better-alive.html#comments